Tony Abbott’s Easter Address From The Opposition’s Ship Of State.

Monday, April 9, 2012.

I’m Popeye the Sailor Man,
I’m a big tough palooka,
Who hates all gazookas……….
And here is my master plan.

I’ll push conservation
So most of this nation
Has clear new contour lines
To protect precious mines.

So it’s cheerio,  NBN!
I’ll start it over again,
Making sure it employs
All our special good boys.

My parental leave dream
Is a great part of my scheme.
Soon gals won’t get chosen
For jobs with promotion.

I’ll remove the vexation
Of all Labor’s taxation
To ensure that the wealthy
Stay happy and healthy.

Then with hospitals empty
There will be beds aplenty,
So the poor near old age
Need no pension or wage.

Though I am happy to say
That my dear sister is gay,
I agree with George Pell;
Real queers all go to hell.

Same for that witch Julia!
She’s got no right to rule yer!
Get her out!  Let’s shove’er!
And her live-in lover!

What’s up, Robb?  ‘Course we can’t sink!
My policies do not stink!
And this boat’s got no holes!
Just read the bloody polls!

NOTES:     As is pretty obvious this pome, well jingle really,  was inspired by Alan Moir again!   His Popeye,  rolling out that jingle, with its immediately recognisable beat,  is so obviously Tony Abbott!       I think my pome or jingle, fanciful as it is,  makes as much sense as Tony Abbott would if he were indeed to outline the Coalition’s current policies.  In fact, Alan’s brilliant cartoon says it all and I won’t waste any more words explaining my reasons for this post,  except to say that I found his jingle irresistable and I just had to carry on with it.   But I’m sure he understands and will forgive my slight modification of his rhyme!  Tony Abbott is indeed a big Palooka,  and he probably does hate all gazookas,  but he’s all washed up ashore,  on an unsailable boat full of holes and he is so punch drunk on his ‘spin’ that he doesn’t know what he’s saying!

For those who may not know,  a gazooka is another word for a kazoo,  a flute sized tin whistle type instrument which adds a “buzzing” timbral quality to a player’s voice when the player talks or sings into it.  The flute shape perhaps explains how the term being gazooka’d came to mean having a “torpedo like” object shoved in your anus forcefully!!!!   It has the additional colourful connotation of things like big hooters or big titties,  e.g. “Look at those huge gazookas!”

Whether Alan Moir wanted us to think Tony hates big busted women or the thought of a big sharp instrument shoved up his arse is unclear,  but I  think we all understand his allusion to palookas who are incompetent or easily defeated athletes,  especially prizefighters.   The name derives from Joe Palooka a one time comic strip figure.   The word “palooka” has now become somewhat of a negative term usually preceded by the word “big” and it  describes a large man,  a clumsy man,  an oaf,  a fighter,  a bully,  a brawler.

Having explained that,  as I said in my first para,  I think the cartoon and the pome speak for themselves!


Catching up,     09/04/12,    Perfect. I do not know how we missed this cartoon. Cannot think of a better representation than Popeye.     Once again you have cheered us up.

Ad Astra.     09/04/12.     Nice verse, so apt.

Alan Moir,    09/04/12,     Very nice, Patricia!

Talk Turkey,    10/04/12,    Funny Poopeye, the label on the tin he’s guzzling from says SPIN before it curves out of sight, clevv-verrr!

He might manage to play a gazooka*
But he likes to play with a bazooka!*
Let’s not sully the name
Of that boxer of fame,
The decent, if dumb, Joe Palooka!

Patricia, * & * is an example of where 2 words rhyme almost too well, and you have to lean on the syllable 3 back from the terminal one in each line to differentiate them. There must somewhere be an authority on ‘rules’ of rhyme, like you shouldn’t rhyme homophones, like e.g. pare pair pere and pear, that is horrid when you come across it. Those rules become obvious, on an intuitive aesthetic basis, only when they are broken, but they are harder to round up than feral cats.

Patriciawa,     10/04/12,     TT,   Bazooka!    How could I have missed that rhyme in relation to Abbott.   I think I’ll have to re-write this some time anyway.   The jingle effect doesn’t seem to have gone down too well.  So I’ve missed the mark.  Though they seem to work just a few lines at a time,   e.g.   Victoria over at a frank view liked these few lines from it enough to repost them at the Poll Bludger, so perhaps it’s just a bit long.

Victoria,    10/04/12,       Great poem! PB is running at a slower pace these days.  I too still pop over here everyday.    Posted  same day at The Poll Bludger Permalink    –  “Another gem from PatriciaWA.”

Tony’s happy to say
That his sister is gay,
But agrees with George Pell –
Real queers go to hell.

archiearchive,     11/04/12,    Back when one Geo Pell was made a Cardinal, I forced a rhyme near the end of a limerick.

“I don’t want to sound trite and snippy
But John Paul has gone strange and dippy
He’s named old George Pell
A new Cardinal*
In line to be made the Pope Skippy.”

*Ærchie School of Rhyme   (other limericks about the same gentleman to be found here )

Gravel,     15/04/12,     Excellent again Patricia and what a great cartoon, no wonder it inspired you.  


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