We, in Mr. Rabbit’s Coalition,
Have it as our worthy mission,
All refugees should understand
When fleeing to Downunderland
There are some very simple rules,
The kind they teach in primary schools.
And if you will these rules obey,
Then you’ll be settled here – one day.
First you must learn to stand and queue.
Think of others ahead of you.
Have to hand passport and papers
Proving you aren’t thieves or rapers.
Try to adopt a mode of dress
That doesn’t cause our men distress.
Don’t wear those burquas! Show more skin.
That’s sure to have you welcomed in.
Another rule we should include
Is not to fuss about your food.
Once meat is fried, sautéed or grilled
Don’t worry how its blood was spilled.
Halal rites are much too gory,
Says Shadow Secretary, Cory.
He’s our expert in resettlement,
His family being immigrant.
He knows that if you’re Islamist
You’re probably a bigamist,
And also practice Shariah Law.
So for you he’ll shut the door.
Don’t try then to come by boat,
‘Cos if you fail to stay afloat
And later require burial,
He’ll shrug and say, “It’s your funeral.”
For which he’s sure to find a way
That somehow you, or your ‘rellies,’ pay!
Ad Astra, 23/02/11 Thank you for your verse, so pointed, so relevant.